Why yoga makes me use the ‘c’ word.

Taking out the recycling before it poses an avalanche risk to the cat.

Going to the Hygienist for a scale and polish.

Filing my paperwork.

Clearing out spam from my email inbox more than once a year.

Doing full wheel pose/handstand/anything that involves getting on my yoga mat.

I have made the slow realisation that all these things have one thing in common. They all generate within me the fearful use of the ‘c’ word. I advise anyone with a delicate disposition to look away now; ready? CONSISTENCY.

I can only apologise. It’s a dirty, dirty word and I hate using it as much as the next person. Who is also weird.

Contrary to possibly popular opinion, I’m not daft. I know that doing all these not-particularly-challenging things above, will make my life easier in the long run. Each one will make a positive impact on my future existence; some in a big way, others in a not-so-big, but positive never-the-less.

Ok – they might not be particularly pleasant at the time, and sometimes I may actually resent the time spent doing them. And this I find an interesting concept. With my rational head on (Worzel Gummage flashback – I still swear to this day that he was the most disturbing children’s TV character of all time) I can see it’s daft to not do all these things; short term investment for long term benefit and all that malarkey.

If I’m honest, when I do get around to doing them I even enjoy some of them. For example, give me a viable excuse to go and buy new stationery for filing (or for any reason) and my inner geek does her happy dance. And let’s not forget the lovely feeling of smugness afterwards? Bring it on! “Look at me! I have done these ‘good’ things! Aren’t I a good person?”

So why do I resist them so much?

I look at that list of things to do, and it strikes me that’s the list of a very sensible person. That’s the list of a person who is a sensible, predictable, grown-up (physically, spiritually and emotionally) person. And that’s the sort of person my ego really doesn’t want me to be. It would much rather that I’m flying by the seat of my pants (which are DEFINITELY not sensible ones from M&S), especially if someone tells me that doing any of those things will be “good for me”.

But perhaps the fault lies in the fact that my brain automatically links ‘consistency’ to boring, drudgery, normality, mediocrity….pick the most uninspiring adjective you can think of and it’s probably one I’d use. So perhaps I need to re-think ‘consistency’ as ‘taking responsibility’ or, perhaps another way of putting it is ‘growing the f*ck up, Jackson’.

So maybe it’s time that I reached up onto the shelf, dusted off that sensible head (oh god – Worzel flashback again) took it’s NHS glasses off, gave it a more fashionable hair cut, maybe a bit of mascara, and tried it on for size.